


Dysfunctional

by vinndetta



Category: Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Yandere, F/F, F/M, Multi, POV Ayano Aishi, POV First Person, So yeah, because i have this story and another that i feel is growing on me, or at least she tries, or second to last, probably the last yan sim fic i'll write simply because i'm not big on yan sim anymore lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 22:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15204872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinndetta/pseuds/vinndetta
Summary: Ayano Aishi had two desires. One: Taro Yamada. And two: to not want Taro Yamada.Really, it all blended down to the fact that she wanted to fit in, to be normal. And for the first time, a female Aishi descendant may be able to accomplish that, to pull away from her destiny for ages.





	Dysfunctional

**Author's Note:**

> anyway, just wanna say that after i write this fic, and possibly another story, then i think i'm actually gonna be done with the yan sim fandom. it's been a real fun time, but i'm gonna try to move on. i'll still follow yan sim updates but not much anymore. thank you though!

Mother always said I came from a line of strong women. Quite frankly, I never got to ask her in what way that we were strong. Perhaps she left it vague and ambigious on purpose. But really, I don't actually have to ask; I think we both secretly know in what way she meant that phrase. It's no secret that Mother always had a stash of old newspapers locked up in a chest that no one was supposed to touch. She seemed to enjoy keeping those newspapers as a reminder of something. No one is even supposed to know that it's even there. But it is there. I've seen the papers for myself. They all cover the court case involving Mother being accused of multiple murders.

And the court found her not guilty. That should make me feel better, right? Because Mother could never have done that. 

Or could she?

-

I've started to have doubts about what it means to be normal. I just don't think I've ever really fit in with the other kids at school. They seem to dislike it when I'm myself; they ignore me when I stop pretending. They think I'm weird otherwise. I don't understand. Mother says I'm just like my father, a man of few words. Mother just... asserts herself. Father never does much, really. He just lets Mother boss him around. 

Why are other kids so different from me? They've always loved their parents, looking up to them as if they were heroes or something. They seem happy, genuinely happy, to be related to each other. They can even feel so many emotions without even trying. They can be happy, sad, angry, frustrated... They feel things. And they love.

Why can't I love? These kids so easily love. It's second nature to them. They love their parents, and they love themselves. They start to grow older and love each other. Why can't I do that? I don't understand These kids show so much appreciation for the people in their lives, that they care about. I... don't really have friends, do I? I am a ghost in my own life. I am a classmate to everyone. All I have are my parents. And yet...

Why don't I love my parents?

-

I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not normal. I grew up dysfunctionally. I'm not like the other people in my life, and my family is dysfunctional. My mother loves my father to death. Perhaps literally. But my father doesn't love my mother. He can't love her the way that she does. Mother has him in her grasp in a way that he cannot escape from. And if what my mother tells me is right, all Aishi women are strong in ways that would horrify other people. I'm not normal because I wasn't born to be a normal girl. No one has ever escaped from this seemingly endless chain of dysfunctionality. 

But I can't give up. I still want to be like the kids at school. I still want to be like the peers in my classes, finding excitement in life around every corner. I don't want to follow the same path my parents did. So I put up the mask figuratively and pretend that I could possibly fit in. Fake it until you make it. That's what some people say. It's what I've been trying to do; pretend that I could one day be just like the other kids.

My father begged me to be normal. When Mother wasn't around when I was young, he begged and pleaded that I wouldn't become like my mother. He cried, I think, if I remember correctly. I didn't understand it then, but right now, I feel like I understand the implications of what he means.

Don't do what my mother did to get her accused of murder.

-

I tried to follow Father's advice, but it didn't work out. I'm sorry, Father. But I met him today. I met the boy that Mother always told me would be the special boy in my life. He grabbed my hand, and suddenly everything felt different. His hands felt warm and comforting when he reached out to help me get up. I looked into his eyes afterwards and I felt something blooming in my chest that I had never felt before in my life. My brain screamed out that it was love. This was the thing that I've been missing all along, the thing that I didn't have. The lack of this thing made me not normal, made me dysfunctional. But now I finally have it.

Osana, that annoying and clingy girl, was there too. And I was livid. I want him. I want him all to myself. Can't she see that I am immediately smitten with this boy? The obsession is growing every second, and I need him. I don't want him like she does. I need him so I can breathe, so I can exist. I can finally feel love, and be normal. It's what I've always wanted and my heart wants me to reach out, grab, and take it all for myself. I deserve happiness and contentment in the form of this boy. I want him so that I can feel whole, and finally fulfill my desire to truly fit in and be normal like everyone else.

But I don't want him. 

I don't want to be like this.

I don't want to suck someone up into a love that is twisted and cruel. And perhaps I could have done that if I had met him before I realized what my mother was, along with her mother and so on. Before I opened the chest I wasn't supposed to open and I found out exactly what had happened to my mother. What would happen to me. I don't want to have this love that's dysfunctional in order to feel like everyone else. I want to choose another path. Please, let me choose another path. I don't want to drag someone into my dysfunctional life in order to make myself feel less dysfunctional. I don't want to make the mistake that they made, becoming a family despite the twisted way that they got together. I don't want to continue the family line, to continue hurting other people, dragging people into the messes that we made. The Aishi family needs to be sucked out of this continuous cycle. And if I have to be the one that pulls and tugs them away, then I'll find a way to do that.

I need another way out. There's got to be another way.

-

I have the potential to be just like Mother. Oh, I know it. But I come from a line of strong women. Maybe I'll be strong enough to escape this fate, to pull away from what I'm supposed to be.

Then, I could finally lead a normal life.

**Author's Note:**

> hopefully you enjoyed this. i like this take on ayano much better than the current ayano. please comment and leave kudos if you liked this. thank you! :)


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